Advice For Newlyweds (And Other Marrieds) From My Venus In The 12th House

Once you get married (to another person, to yourself, to God) you must begin to understand that your husband (or wife) fits no preconceived notion. No fantasy. Stop trying to put them in a box. That pretty jewel blue and green box of your most treasured so-called wants, dreams, and desires. Stop trying to stuff them in there! They won’t fit. Not the box you wanted. Not the box you thought you wanted. Not the box you’re holding in your hands. He/she will not fit. Not the box of the culture you are from. Let it go.

You must let your partner breathe and become. You must let your marriage breathe and become. Too many preconceived notions will suffocate what the relationship MUST become, which cannot be contained in any container. This is true even when you have married yourself, committed to yourself, or to God.

Are you nodding your head? Know what I’m saying? Are you stuck in an 8 of Swords? Ropes you tied yourself?

I got married last month and every week (sometimes every day) I am faced with (astounded by) my preconceived notions of wife, husband, marriage, partnership, man, woman, passive, aggressive, masculine, feminine, fire, water, union. (Binary oppositions. The TWOs of the Tarot.) And also my notion of WHO AM I. Who am I really. After all these years.

AND THAT IS WHEN YOU DECIDE. THEN AND ONLY THEN. Once you have abandoned, trashed and slashed, your most precious notions.

Take all your little boxes okay? The image I’m getting in my mind is to set fire to them. Perhaps because the Sun enters Sagittarius tomorrow.

If fire is not your thing or feels too final or even too bright for your mood then… come up with your own ritual or visualization and share it here.

Venus goes retrograde December 21st (at 28 degrees). She turns back around direct on January 31st at 13 degrees. Right now you see straight ahead. Maybe. But soon you will be looking back, taking stock, reevaluating what is most important to you and what you hope to increase. Spotlight of course on love and relationships, self-esteem, and money.

Capricorn is ambitious, oh yes, but CAUTIOUS and brittle, fragile when you hold her.

I wouldn’t attempt to fence in your own Venus nature or your Beloved’s during this transit at all despite the circumspect feeling you’re feeling. Instead, I’d toss out the dung and OPEN WIDE THE GATES.

Love, MP

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