Thought it was “me” for a short time. Had a few relationships along those lines. Unsatisfying ones. Because I was looking FOR relationship. Not a sexual style which is mostly what I found back then.
And the older I get, the more I want total autonomy over my sexual/romantic relationship. That may sound obvious or a given to you, but to me, and my chart, well, I had to have it pointed it out to me a number of times how I responded instinctively to others’ needs, not paying any attention to my own. (The Redemption of Venus in Leo from the 12th House!)
I want to be free to choose when and how I have sex, even within the confines of a relationship. I think I always did. And again this may sound strange to you, but there was a time in my 30s where I wanted to (yes, consensually) give up that control to the other.
This reminds me of a possibly related topic. How as a school-age child, I was bullied. Even in my late 30s I have been subject to bully-attack by grown women. Shake-downs, intimidation. It is rare but when it happens, it is disturbing. And I always share the emails. My friends find it disturbing too.
Power struggle, power (energy) transference, is it any wonder that the ones who bully me have had strong Pluto flavors to their charts? I also do, but well aspected 🙂 My Moon and Pluto conjunction is sextiled all around the chart. I’m Pluto-Pleasant 🙂
Funny to me, too, that 50 Shades is so popular now. I guess 9 1/2 Weeks was too fringe when it came out? I know the movie was popular but I really liked that novel back in the day. And there was Secretary and other offerings.
Now, I don’t judge anyone for their choices at all. I’m just talking about what’s right for me and how important it is to know thyself. If you want to live that life? Great! If you don’t? Then know that too.
And, also, Cancer is a sign (my sign) who will always want to parent and be parented. Taken care of. And for Cancer to reach a comfortable state of independence, well, it can be even more alluring than having Daddy pull you out of the problem in a pinch.
PS And if you are searching for a BDSM or D/s relationship, hard Pluto aspects between your charts can be very helpful! Venus square Pluto for example. Saturn aspecting personal planets can also be good but it depends on what you’re seeking. Pluto will bring more heat and Saturn will bring more chilly authority.
This is also very much a Moon Pluto topic. Will have to discuss this more in Part 2…