Breaking Bad: Pluto Is Retrograde And So Is My Life 7

"pluto square pluto"

Pluto rules death and rebirth.

Pluto went retrograde on my 5th House cusp, the House of Love.


I am trying to get a sense of the big picture of my life and right now I cannot, and yesterday on the subway I started thinking about my Pluto square Pluto transit from some years ago and the main thing I remember about that time is that I hated my life.

It was also when I started studying astrology.

I had stopped being religious and I was searching for someone to tell me what to do, to replace the laws and rules I’d longed to adhere to. Always a spiritual person, I thought I’d find my role in that regimented world, not unlike my very early childhood, when we kept the Sabbath holy. Nope.

My Pluto square Pluto was accompanied by Saturn’s transit through Leo, in my 12th House. I was lost.


On the train I was reading a chapter from a book about Pluto, trying to match up the writer’s words with my experience. This writer had wonderful metaphors but did I relate? Sometimes metaphors are not enough.

My teacher would say to us: will you go kicking and screaming, or will you…


The best healers, the best readers are shamans — they go fully into their transits, bringing back shells, jewels, sunlight, fragments of glass, coins, magic, answers — as though they choose their transits by soul contract and come back to teach us all.

That they feel (or take) our pain so we don’t have to.

And yet we have to.


How To Survive A Pluto Transit:

Your life is breaking down. Your life is breaking open. Don’t try to hold on to the Old Way. It won’t work and will only make it worse. You will fail at being the Old You.



Woman and girl are sitting next to me on the train and woman is telling girl about “specialists.” That if you break a bone, you will need to see Someone Special.

Think of Pluto that way — except that he does the breaking bad and the repair.


Back to where we started:

Pluto Retrograde says not yet. Pluto Retrograde says detour. Pluto Retrograde says back underground, underworld, into the woods, back back back.

But you were not mistaken.


Pluto’s transit to your chart is your fate. It is not a choice.

You can go kicking and screaming or you can… well?

What will you do? 


Sending strength and love to those having difficult transits xo

About aliza

Hello my name is Aliza and I help people. I'm a Tarot Reader and Astrologer, Teacher & Writer. Cancer Sun, Mercury, and Mars. Virgo Moon Pluto Hekate conjunction in the 1st House. If you aren't sure what all that means, I'll be happy to explain it to you! Or maybe you'd rather hear about your own chart :) I blog and do readings for a living. Poet and playwright, Iowa MFA, I got obsessed with astrology in my late 30s and the rest is history. For the moment.

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7 thoughts on “Breaking Bad: Pluto Is Retrograde And So Is My Life

  • Beth

    I’m still in my Pluto square Pluto… and I’ve found it more.. well… more breaking open, than breaking down. I recognize full well I’ve left an “old me”.. and I don’t grieve it. Pluto has quite a way to go in my 8th house, and near the end he’ll dance with my Moon. When I first learned about such things.. I was nervous, now though? I realize something is going to transform/die, and know it can only be for my benefit. Going back to that breaking a bone thing… sometimes… that Dr. has to Re-Break that bone so it will set correctly, destroy, to make it better.

  • itisdiana

    What will I do? Cry – inside and out. I will hurt someone no matter what and that is painful itself. I broke down a little last-night just trying to get what I wanted to say out and I couldn’t go all the way.
    I know I’ll be alright, It’s just really hard getting through it now and fessing up my truths, my secrets, ripping my mask off.

  • Alex

    I’ve always gone kicking and screaming. I’m still kicking and screaming over things that happened years (and Pluto transits) in the past. This last one saw Pluto squaring my Sun, and it was exactly as I’ve read: I went into it as one sort of person, and by the time it was over, I had become almost the exact opposite. Part of that had to do with going from my teens to my mid-twenties, but I still changed so much on such a fundamental level that practically nothing about myself was recognizable to me. I’m still angry about it, because I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t ask to be the way that I am, and it’s a painful way to be.
    Pluto isn’t there yet, but I can already feel what’s going to happen to my natal Venus. I’ve always defined myself by what I loved, so once this is over, once all of that has died, who the hell will I be? As horrible as Pluto touching my Sun was, I almost feel like I was asleep for most of it (Pluto was conjunct my Neptune toward the end). Now, I’m fully aware of what’s happening.

  • sophiepiscesmoon

    As I am on the tail end of a pluto square natal pluto and pluto opposing natal saturn transit (and fast approaching – currently at 2 degrees – a pluto square natal venus, and then opposing natal mars) I would say the best way to survive is to a) have a very plutonian chart b) pray a lot (even as an atheist) My life as I knew it burnt to the ground, ashes. I also started (self) studying astrology in earnest, was always interested but suddenly really needed it. It has brought much comfort and understanding. I also went into therapy (psychoanalysis) which is helping me through these transits no end – a plutonian activity indeed! Haven’t posted before but really enjoy your writing Aliza and especially appreciated your candid descriptions of depression, which is certainly an inescapable feature of pluto transits (plus saturn!). Natally I am pluto 1st house (Libra) squaring saturn, op venus, inconjunct moon, trine sun and mercury, sextile neptune. Transiting pluto is in my 4th house. Learning to deal with and love my Pluto!

  • kathy

    I have a grand cross happening. T-pluto conjunct Lilith(3.32) Ceres (11.48) and IC(8.5) in Capricorn opposite MC (8.5) in Cancer. My Asc (6.46) and Venus (13.15) in Libra is opposite t-Uranus. Or whatever planet is happening to be transiting that point at the moment. Lilith doesn’t want to join but she keeps getting dragged in because she trines my natal Mars (2.42) in Virgo. T-Mars at this moment is stationing direct right on top. T-pluto is also trine my natal pluto-uranus and
    Mars midpoint. There are so many changes. It looks like this will be going on all summer. *sigh* I have Saturn crossing over my sun/Neptune/eros conjunction to look forward to in Scorpio when this is done.

    These are changes I knew I needed to make. I have been trying to work with Pluto but the cost almost destroyed me. Giving up is not an option.

  • lina

    I have pluto transit my 9 house and squares my Saturn at 8 Arie in 12 house when retrogrades till late next year , also Uranus will conjunct my Saturn . WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?Please help ! Thanks