I was up to something today, don’t remember what, when I started wondering what in astrology rules the breath. Some context: I didn’t smoke today and for a few months now I’ve been smoking more and more. It used to be one a day or two a day… and now was up to 4 or 5 a day. Cigarettes, not packs. I’m sensitive. It affects me.
And I decided not to smoke and not to drink any coffee either (I got caffeine from other sources but it was waaaaaay less strong than my usual two cups of coffee). I’m on a mission to… de-stimulate my nervous system, thank you very much New Moon in Virgo! Virgo rules health matters!
And last night was my meditation class and today on the train I brought some articles to read about… the breath. And oh wow this article was wonderful and as I was walking down the street, doing whatever it was that I was doing, I thought to myself: Self? What rules the breath? My first thought was Uranus. My thinking was… Mercury rules speech and Uranus (says Isabel Hickey) is the higher octave of Mercury so… Uranus rules the breath? I quickly emailed an astrologer friend of mine who said that Mercury is the ruler and I think we’re both right. Can’t talk if you can’t breathe ;)
And there’s a deeper connection here, the connection between breath and love. And quitting smoking. I don’t think I’ve taken one deep satisfactory breath in months. My boyfriend smokes and I am co-dependent so I started (again). Why don’t I breathe? Fear maybe, the fear that comes with “relating,” the fear that comes with “opening,” the fear that comes with “offering,” the fear that comes with……….. All these fear balloons rising up from the breath. They became it.
I don’t know if I’ll quit smoking this time, forever. I’m going day by day. I do know I feel… better today. Better meaning less anxious.
And when I felt stressed today, instead of smoking I… didn’t smoke. I breathed. I felt whatever I was feeling instead of reaching to suppress it or alter it in some way. And the anxious thought went away quicker. It dissipated.
I don’t mean to make this sound like some kind of triumphant stop-smoking commercial; I’m not that way and I’m not looking for encouragement. You know what smoking is like? Like a dog chasing his tail, always always always chasing after… that feeling, that high, and it doesn’t satisfy. It’s never enough. It misses the mark each time. It doesn’t end… the dissatisfaction, the unhappiness, the confusion. And then, unsatisfied, you have to do it again, and you’re unsatisfied again. And on it goes.
Ultimately, the Virgo body wants to be a smooth running machine Virgo body. Process process process process. This is what Virgo can do for you, by the way. Sun in Virgo, Venus in Virgo, the Moon is no longer in Virgo but the Moon was NEW which means… you get a push, a head start, for whatever you begin.
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